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KCASH Maxims, Edicts, Ethics, & Etiquettes (MEEEs)

As a registered participant of KCASH, you agree to abide by the “Maxims, Edicts, Ethics, & Etiquettes.” In addition to these agreements, you must strictly adhere to following these MEEEEs. If you violate the MEEEs, you and your team are eligible for immediate disqualification. If a MEEEE is unclear, you are not permitted to contact support. We suggest you send a smoke signal or ambidextrous carrier pigeon with your question to 55°20'32" N, 131°38'46" W.

How to play KCASH:  You must register between 5pm on July 6th and 5pm pm July 27th at You will “purchase a ticket to register” and pay a registration fee online at that time.  You will receive a link upon registration to your email. On July 31 at 6am, you should click that link to find the list of things for you to do, create, or find.  Each Item has points assigned to it. You choose which Items to attempt, and then you have 72 hours to complete as many of them as you can. No team will be able to successfully complete them all. (We dare you to try.)

Once you complete an Item, take a picture or video of it (you’ll be told which in the item description) and submit it to our site. You get points for completed items. The team with the most points wins the Grand Prize of KCASH.

1. Registration. You are only permitted to compete in KCASH if you are kind of weird and weirdly kind. No haters, bullies, or hostile personalities allowed!

2. Ticket to register.  You must “purchase a ticket to register.”  It’s not an actual, physical ticket, and not even CLOSE to being a ticket to ride, but due to us not having a billion dollars to re-do our ticketing system or design something altogether brand new, we’re using a our ticketing software for registration purposes.  So, this is just a maxim explaining that your ticket is not a golden ticket to tour a giant chocolate factory, nor is it a raffle ticket, and it’s not even a ticket for entry to a performing arts event—it’s just a thing you have to buy that you won’t even receive in physical form so that you can play KCASH.  These are tough times, sacrifices must be made, including the physical presence of said ticket.

3. Eligibility. To be eligible for the Fabulous Grand Prize, your team must be registered, and all eligible team members having paid the registration fee. All participants must be at least 13 to compete and must read and agree to the KCASH “Maxims, Edicts, Ethics, & Etiquettes (or MEEE).”  Seriously, READ MEEE. Any minors, majors, mixolydians, or phrygians on the winning team may or may not be eligible to win the Grand Prize.

4. Rights. We intend to share your stunning Item Submissions with the world. Therefore, by competing, you agree to the Rights and License stipulations as detailed in the “Maxims, Edicts, Ethics, & Etiquettes.” In addition to agreeing to these terms, you also agree that we may use your Submissions as needlepoint pillows, earmuffs, or as interpretive dance routines as determined by the whims of our Grand Judge, who shall heretofore be identified only by his nom de plume. (You’ll be quizzed on this at exam time.) In short, what’s yours is ours. Capiche?

5. Updates. We will post updates through the website(s) whenever we ding dang well please during KCASH. Items may be added or removed from the List without notice. MEEE may be changed mid-KCASH without advance notice, so stay on it and don’t complain if something changes and you’re asleep at the wheel. You may stalk the Updates, but not KCASH personnel. Celery stalking is allowed with a valid permit.

6. Behavior. You are not permitted to physically, emotionally, or psychologically hurt, berate, bully, or otherwise attack yourself, another participant, or anyone inside or outside KCASH. We take this rule seriously! Any abuse of other participants during KCASH whatsoever or for any reason will not be tolerated. If you feel the need to attack someone– including yourself– don’t. We mean it. This doesn’t mean you can’t disagree, and note that we’re not going to mediate casual disputes—we trust you to work those out amongst yourselves with respect and decency. But all behavior on social media or any other KCASH platform, past or present, real or fictional must be kind and no abuse will be tolerated. Violators could be penalized with loss of respect, loss of points, loss of access to our Bunker for midnight bioluminescence parties, or even KCASH banishment. For the love of Ty Rettke’s pet unicorn: just be cool.

7. Conflict Resolution. All conflicts between teams or teammates must be resolved through a bubblegum duel at high noon. Might makes right, so the biggest unburst bubble wins. However, remember to keep your bubble within your bubble and follow all social distancing and guidelines set forth by the EOC and CDC.

8. Breaking the Law. Some of the items in KCASH may be questionable to perform in some corners of the island. It is your responsibility to assess the legality and safety of your actions during KCASH. If you believe completing an Item will cause you to break a law, DO NOT DO THAT ITEM. We simply don’t have the patience to assess ALLLLLLLLLLLL the Civil Codes that govern our municipality and borough, so we leave it to you to know the laws. In other words, (a) you are not permitted to break any law in any attempt to scavenge an item and (b) KCASH will not be responsible if you break any law, and we won’t visit you behind bars or post bail if you do.

9. Scavenging Safety. The first rule of scavenging: be safe! Second rule of scavenging: Be safe!

9a. Scavenging Safely.  First Do No Harm. If you think you might hurt yourself or someone else trying to complete the Item, or cause actual damage (to property, the environment, or a specific site), do a different Item. We have many. How many? SO MANY. Plus two.

9c. Numbering Conventions. 7c only makes sense if there’s a 7b. Defy convention.

10. Shame. It doesn’t exist during KCASH. If you have any leftover shame tucked away, get rid of it now! Throw it in your compost bin or recycle it into something more useful, like a pogo stick or moon shoes. If you must hang onto it, stick it someplace so clever, you’ll forget where you put it. We recommend throwing it into the narrows so it can feed the Rockfish.

11. Normalcy. We abhor it! For the 72 hours of KCASH, you must reject all normalcy. Be weird. Odd. Different. Try on a whole new you so outrageous, your friends, family, and the public don’t even recognize you. This will pay off for you in KCASH and in life. NOTE: Some of you may already be pushing the boundaries of weird and abnormal within society. Good work. Now kick it to eleven!

12. Watch out for Item #227. It’s not as it appears and can’t be trusted.   Be sure to check ID.

13. Submissions Secret Tip #1. Quality counts! Quantity won’t win this contest alone. Make sure you take in-focus pictures and videos. Nothing makes our judge’s hackles rise faster than a beautifully executed item shot so poorly that we can’t see or hear what you did. Keep our hackles down by making your submissions beautiful, artistic, and excellent.

14. Bonus Points. We award extra points for extra awesome item submissions. The more extraordinary your submission, the more bonus points we will assign to it. It’s simple math: If Team A completes 150 items with a face value of 5000 points, but they kick tuchus and get 50% bonus points on each item, Team A will walk away with 7500 points. If Team B completes 175 items with a face value of 6500 points, but don’t go the extra mile and are not awarded any bonus points, Team A wins. Math matters, and we use it—also, thank your math teacher.

15. Submissions Secret Tip #2. Have fun. If you’re having fun making or doing an item, odds are the result will be great. In other words, before tackling an item, figure out how to make the process fun. This includes when you capture the picture or video. You will likely receive more points if you are having more fun, too. If you’re not having fun, you are required to change course immediately so that you ARE headed in the direction of some serious good times. (We must add the small caveat that sometimes KCASH will be stressful & miserable—but that’s part of the fun, too.)

16. Submissions Secret Tip #3. Composition counts. Pay attention to everything in your Submission— including the setting and backgrounds of your images and videos. Beautiful, artistically composed images will tend to get awarded more bonus points. Think about how your images will look when projected 50 feet high on our judges’ drive-in movie screen, on YouTube, or hanging in the KCASH Hall of Fame before you shoot them.

17. Submissions Secret Tip #4. Want us to show off your videos somewhere in the future? Try to shoot them so that they look good in landscape OR portrait mode. We reiterate: Composition counts. (And, for video: shoot in landscape orientation whenever possible.)

18. Submissions Secret Tip #5. Submission Secret Tip #5 has been put in time out for this year’s KCASH. (It knows what it did—we’re not angry with it, just disappointed.)

19. Submissions Secret Tip #6. Make the judges laugh, chuckle, chortle or giggle until we lose control of major bodily functions. Our Judges love granting points to people with a good sense of humor, so entertain us and you’ll be rewarded with Points. Dance, monkeys, dance!

20. Submission Secret Tip #7. Artistic expression counts! You don’t have to be an “artist” (though we believe all creatures are), but be thoughtful in your creations. Images that tell a story in a single image are generally more compelling than images where the subjects are posing for the camera—though not always, so your mileage may vary on this point. But try to be eye-catching, awe-inspiring and museum worthy. (No pressure.)

21. Confusion. Confusion is a vital component of KCASH. This is by design. Confusion brings us joy. If you are confused, you’re doing it right. DO NOT, we repeat, DO NOT contact KAAHC or FCP for any issues related to confusion on how to do an item. Half of KCASH is you figuring out what the heckers we’re asking for. The other half of KCASH is you doing it. The other 3 quarters of KCASH is you taking a picture or video of the item. The other third of KCASH is you making a tutu out of shredded wheat. The other 1/76th of KCASH is Dave. He wonders why you still haven’t messaged him back.  Also, again, thank your math teacher.  And don’t come to us for math tutoring.

22. Pleasure. Pleasure is permitted three times a day, except on Tuesdays when KCASH is over and you’re still in KCASH withdrawal and the standard guidelines apply.

23. Haberdashery & Accessories. Bowler hats and monocles are strongly encouraged, but feather boas and top hats are strictly prohibited, unless medically required with a valid prescription. Unless prohibited by HIPPA privacy laws in your region, feather boa and top hat prescriptions must registered at  

23a. Haberdashery, Accessories, & Costumes. For the purposes of KCASH, the First City Players costume closet is closed.  It needs a vacation just as much as the next guy. It’s going to Tahiti and may not even send us a postcard, so please don’t ask anything of it, up to and including asking to borrow costumes and accessories for KCASH.

24. Hygiene. All players must floss daily throughout KCASH.

25. Complaining. No. Just don’t. Also, you must not gripe, whine, whinge, at any of the KCASH staff, judges, or volunteers. Petitioning is forbidden. KCASH is not a democracy! PACs and SuperPACs may be formed, but phone banking, lobbying and bribery is prohibited except on Sundays from 4—6 AM in the alley behind Tongass. (All kickbacks must be in small bills only, on any geoduck that fits in your wallet.) Use of our “Support” email must be as a last resort. Please visit our Holy FAQ section prior to asking questions. Read the dictionary. Explore encyclopedias. If you must vent, you may fabricate a doll of Jeff Fitzwater, deem it your “Complaint Vessel”, and whine to it. But don’t complain to us or to the ACTUAL Jeff Fitzwater, or so help us we will turn KCASH around right now.

25a. Complaining. All formal complaints and concerns must be logged in triplicate and mailed to KCASH Department of Concerns, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington DC, 20500.

26. Bribery. Freshly caught white king salmon may be accepted as currency for the purposes of bribery, except as prohibited by MEEE #31a. Note that the exchange rate for fresh white king salmon may change depending on the weather and fluctuations in the current market.

27. Nostrils. All nostril flare must adhere to company regulations, with a minimum of 15. (It’s up to you whether or not you want to do just the bare minimum.) 

28. Proxies. You may not conscript proxies or KCASH mercenaries to complete items in your stead unless specifically stated in the Item or for a specific, good reason (dogs eating your item or headaches are not good reasons). Teams that use proxies to skive off their Items may lose points for outsourcing or even be disqualified. See Commandment 36 and remember: we’re everywhere, and we see you.

29. Video/Image Plagiarism. You shall not submit any items that were created by another team. Any team that is caught submitting another team’s Item shall be eligible for disqualification. Any team that is found to be submitting items that were created before KCASH is eligible for disqualification.

30. Environmental Considerations. Teams that provide evidence that they used 100% velocipede transportation throughout KCASH are eligible for Carbon Credits.

31. No taxidermy without representation.

32. Climate Change. We’re swapping climates with Venus for the duration of KCASH. Dress accordingly.

33. Content Sharing. You may not “share” your images or videos until after KCASH, but you may not password-protect them either as we need to access them for judging. Violators will be subject to virtual incarceration. YOU MAY (and we encourage you) share your images and videos 8 minutes and 47.3 seconds after KCASH is officially over. We will alert you when it is acceptable to share your submissions.

34. Judging. Items shall be judged by at least 6 official KCASH Judges anointed by the powers that be at FCP and KAAHC in a private ceremony.  No video or photos allowed.  You’ll just have to trust that it happened.

35. The End. KCASH shall end when we say it ends (0600 AKDST on Monday, August 3, 2020) and the Item List is removed from the KCASH website.

36. Arbitrary Rules and Constraints. May be placed on the “Updates” page during the course of KCASH. Watch it daily. Pay attention. OBSESSIVELY CHECK THE UPDATES PAGE HERE:

37. Grand Prize. There will be one. If you win it, you will likely refer to the events of your life as either pre- or post- KCASH Grand Prize. Please refer to MEEE for further details.

38. Referrer Prize. There might be one. There might not. But generally speaking, we may or may not be selecting one “Referrer” individual to win a prize. Refer a friend (you can do so after you register). If they sign up and list you as the referrer, your name will be placed in a random drawing to win a fabulous prize.  How fabulous?  Well KCASH is all about being creative and using your imagination, so use your imagination.

39. Runner Uppers. We may select some runner-up teams. These teams may receive accolades, prizes, and the envy of everyone (except the winning team who will not be envious at all because their prize is better).

40. Exceptions. There may be many. Check MEEE daily.

41. Life Lessons. Be kind. Be precise. Be flippant. Be creative. Be courageous. Be shameless. Be KCASH.